There’s not much time left for this project, but I’m still have so many fears on my mind. My worst fear is that my project is about photography and fashion styling, however, I’m not a professional photographer. And most of the pictures I’ve taken so far were banal or even should say “funny.” I’m trying to embody the picture I have in mind, but I just couldn’t make it to be real.
This project, I have to admit, is so challenging for me which I didn’t think it would be this difficult when I decided to change to this topic. That’s because not only I have to step out of my comfort zone to be socialize with people, but it’s also challenging my ability to make something comes to life and to finish a project on my own. The first challenge is to find someone to be in participate. I always see myself as a not-good-looking person, and in fact, from the experiences I had from interacting with guys, my understanding of myself is totally correct. I’ve texted many guys from different apps, and I was polite and humorous when communicating, but I got little feedback. The experiences I had so far were make me feel I’m not attractive at all.
The second challenge is to embody the project. After I’ve done quite a few shooting with guys, I realized that I’m still have way too much to learn and how incapable I am. I’m not a professional photographer nor an experienced fashion stylist, so when the two things combine together, I’m really insecure about the whole thing. I think I bit off more than I can chew this time.
But still, I wanna stay positive and hoping things will get better if I try even more harder. Fingers Crossed.