After I’ve changed to this more personal topic, I start to wonder what does the real me look like. Before I came to London, I was not an openly gay to my family, though most of my friends know I’m gay. But due to my family doesn’t know my sexuality, I didn’t involve in any gay scenes, sexually and non-sexually, in Taiwan. I think that’s because I feel guilty and a bit cautious if I got caught or maybe I just don’t want let down my family.
My family is pretty traditional and conservative, or should say my parents are conservative and traditional. I’m the youngest of four, I have three older sisters, they are all quite open about the LGBTQ+ issues though. But my parents have high expectations on me and they hope I can get married someday, cause they think I’m the only boy in the family and eventually, have to marry a girl to have some boys of our own and to keep the family name alive. I know I cannot fulfill them because that’s really not what I am. But I don’t want to disappoint them, so I hide the real me. I didn’t get involve in any gay stuff in Taiwan, though Taiwan has been legalized same sex marriage in 2019, and I’m really proud of it. I still remembered the day when the Legislative Yuan passed the law, tons of people gathered in front of there in Taipei to celebrate the historical moment and the bright future of the LGBTQ+ community. I sat in the living room with my parents to watched the news and had dinner, I was so moved but I couldn’t share the joy with anyone in the room. My parents just said nothing and seemed don’t care much…
So, after I move to London this summer, I start to think and curious about the gay scenes in London. London is a metropolitan city and it’s also one of the gayest cities in the world. I really want to connect with other gay men in this city and make some friends with them. Also, I want to experience the intimacy if we have chemistry. I want to see what’s the really me inside, the real “gay” Derek?!
I think this topic is to help me to find the different side of me, the self can live without fear and live in the way what I want. I want this project as a storytelling editorial with a bit of fashion touch in it to document my social and sex life in London.